CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE COUNSELLING
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  • Home
  • About Me
  • Issues
    • Avoidant Personality and Marriage
    • Codependency
    • People Pleasing
    • Nervous Breakdown
  • About Marriage
    • Couple Bonding
    • 10 Blocks to Marital Intimacy
    • EMDR for Couples
    • Avoidant Personality and Silent Divorce
    • Married to a Psychopath / Sociopath?
    • Love Addiction
Blog Posts
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George Hartwell M.Sc.

Meaning of Codependent and Super-Responsible

7/18/2018

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Here are some questions that help you to understand what I mean by: 'super-responsible.'

For more about Super-Responsible read what John Sandford said about Parental Inversion in: Transformation of the Inner Man by John and Paula Sandford. Theirs is the origin of my concept of Super-Responsible although I have developed the concept in my own way.

If a majority of these statements describe you then this may be your primary personality schema. 
Looking back at childhood was there lack of safety in your childhood family?
Was either parent out of order, out of control emotionally?
Were your parents fighting in ways that you felt unsafe or insecure?
Did you step in in some way to provide family stability? (Peacekeeper, go between, etc.) 
Was there enough love and security that you could be playful, expressive and spontaneous?
Were you seen as a young well-behaved adult?
Do your friends find you to be a 'serious' person?
Do you find it hard to be a child in adulthood? (Be playful, expressive, spontaneous)
Do you negate or ignore your own needs?
Are you good at being there for others and meet their needs?
Are you very self critical?
Live with an inner judge?
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Costs of Divorce for couple and children

7/15/2018

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Consider your time and money as the costs you may need to consider the cost of separation and divorce. These include:
  • A contested divorce where things get nasty can run up $40,000 in legal fees. Compare 12 (90 minute) counselling appointments of $2,160.
  • Pain in the legal proceedings and pain, grief, loss of your love relationship. (Estimated pain costs of $10,000)
  • Sense of failure, guilt and shame effecting your self confidence and self-esteem. (Put in your estimate of costs as that effects you for a life-time.) 
  • Loss of status, social rejection and isolation by church, friends, and family. 
  • Loneliness.
  • Loss of family love of children and wife that protected and nurtured your spirit.

Cost for children:
  • Anxiety and insecurity caused by parents fighting.
  • Self-worth and confidence damaged by one parent denigrating the other parent.
  • Loss of significant relationship with both parents replaced by diminished relationship with both or just one parent.
  • Loss of secure home base provided by both parents being together.
  • Possible loss of childhood to be replaced by growing up too soon and take adult emotional responsibility - for example being a support to mom.
  • Possibly uprooted from schools, home, friends and community.
  • Loss, or lessening, of family love of mother and father that protected and nurtured your spirit.
  • Effects on physical health, emotional development, peer relationships and educational attainment.
  • Depression and anger and loss of respect for parents.
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Christian Marriage Intensive (Retreat)

7/14/2018

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Christian Marriage Intensive (Retreat):
Intensive Christian Marriage Counselling  involves  4  90 minute sessions per day. A mini-retreat involves 2 90 minute session per day.

A 'Christian marriage retreat' lasts for 2 to 5 days.

To save on total costs the intensive Christian marriage retreat is held at my professional office in Mississauga which is 20 minutes for the Pearson International Airport.


Christian Marriage Retreat Intensive


A Christian marriage retreat involves 4 sessions (six hours per day) as well as informal times for coffee breaks or shared meals together. A typical day can run  from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM with lunch break and coffee breaks along the way. In a 'retreat' the informal time is often as productive as the formal sessions.

Fee is $720 per day based on 90 minute session rate of $180.00.
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More About George

7/13/2018

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I am an experienced therapist who has specialized in life transformation and attachment-focused couple therapy. Individual counselling sessions, and marriage therapy sessions, are provided in person by George at the Life Transformation Group office in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada. (#123 1454 Dundas Street East).

The advantage to you of working with an experienced therapist is that therapy skills, insight and discernment get honed over time. As a result you save time, get more benefit from every session. You can be more confident that you will achieve your goals.

Training for this work, I worked in the Psychology Department of a major psychiatric facility in Alberta (4 years at Alberta Hospital Ponoka) before attending graduate school at University of Calgary. George graduated with a Masters of Science in Clinical Psychology. 

I have  received training in the treatment modalities of: psychodrama, Transactional Analysis, crisis counselling, Positive Parenting, Reality Therapy, Neuropsychology, family systems marriage counselling, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy,  and Coherence Therapy.

To allow deeper work with feelings I make use of The Journey by Brandon Bays.

My current focus in Inner healing is Christian Listening Prayer Therapy based on the work of Leanne Payne, John Regier and Dr. Ed Smith. 
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I have been a teacher and writer putting his content on the web site: HealMylife.com. See my articles here.

I use transformation therapy George focuses on effective methods to create  changes in core beliefs, personality patterns and identity. These methods are now enhanced by the newest work in Psychology on memory reconsolidation. The theory of memory reconsolidation shows therapists how to be effective in producing lasting change.
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Using effective psychotherapy combined with listening prayer to get at core beliefs, I have developed a unique style of therapy that is effective in providing permanent life change in brief framework therapy for both Christians and nonChristians, for individuals and couples. 
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Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy

7/13/2018

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Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy

The framework of emotionally-focused couple therapy is attachment issues and bonding. Couples intuitively know that a good emotional connection is key to their relationship. This approach is fully compatible with biblical language such as 'cling to your wife.'
  • Objective is enhanced couple bonding which results in the relationship being an emotionally safe place that nurtures the spirit. 
  • The process is outlined in Sue Johnson's book: "Hold Me Tight.' 
  • Therapist focuses on listening to and acknowledging feelings. 
  • Effective if both partners can listen to and acknowledge the feelings of the other.
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Methods and Perspectives I Use

7/11/2018

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I make use of methods and perspectives gained from the following schools:
  • Coherence Therapy - Depth-Oriented Brief Therapy (Ecker and Tilley),
  • Memory Reconsolidation (Unlocking the Emotional Brain), 
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy
  • Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (Sue Johnson - Hold Me Tight). The most studied, and effective form of treatment, is emotionally-focused couples therapy (EFT) developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. Results also show that this treatment is long-lasting and helpful with those of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds as well. https://www.verywellmind.com/does-marriage-counseling-work-2300428
  • 'The Journey - Brandon Bays I use Journey Work to explore experientially the different feelings that a client is experiencing and to discover core beliefs.
  • Christian Listening Prayer Therapy - Leanne Payne, John Regier and Dr. Ed Smith's work. I use Christian Listening Prayer Therapy when appropriate to deal with core beliefs.
  • Christian Transformation - John and Paula Sandford (Transformation of the Inner Man). I use Transformation of the Inner Man concepts to help me to discern personality patterns.
  • Inner Healing - Agnes Sanford (The Healing Light) I honour Agnes Sandford as the pioneer voice in the discovery of inner healing. I make use of her teaching on the use of the imagination in Christian Inner Healing prayer.
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How is Listening Prayer Used?

7/11/2018

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How is Listening Prayer Used?
In listening prayer we make use of Jesus as our source of Truth. We listening for guidance. We listen for godly truth to replace our childhood beliefs and perspectives locked into out childhood memories. God's word spoken to us rapidly dispels unhealthy core beliefs and heals our memories.

Heart Forgiveness
As we listen to him, after having inviting His presence into those memories, our perspective changes, our heart attitude changes. We gain a new heart as the emotional wound is healed by His loving presence and truth. This is true inner healing. An immediate result is heart-felt forgiveness, for only as Jesus heals our life can our heart forgive.

Inner Radiance
As our heart is healed, as our heart forgives we are also reconciled with God. As our heart makes peace with God then the flow of life, love, wisdom and courage flow from God's Spirit into and through our spirit and radiates form our person. As life radiates from our person the Kingdom of God comes into place around us. Everyone with us is effected in a positive way.

Flowing with Life
When your heart is healed by Jesus, and life is flowing through you, then your prayers are answered and people are attracted to the life radiating from you. Does this sound like a different kind of Christianity? Well that helps explain what I mean when I say I am a different kind of Christian.
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Having a session with George

7/10/2018

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What is it like to have a session with George?

Listening: I track with clients. I proved a safe space for them to express who they are. I provide a safe place for clients to find their voice, to discover and express their identity. I provide a secure place for clients who are confused about their lives and feel like they are in a nervous breakdown.

Love: Clients often say that the most helpful aspect of sessions with me is love. Why is that? I explain it like this:
1. I put all me effort into listening to and understanding my client. I do that in every session.
2. I convey respect for people and treat them fairly.
3. I have shed any tendency to judge, or be superior to others.
4. I have no need to control others, tell them what they should do or to prescribe their life choices.

Spiritual Guidance: My therapy includes the element of one's relationship with God. At times we deal with guilt and forgiveness. Your relationship with God expressed in your way and on

Respect for your religious feelings and beliefs.
Your feelings about God can always be put on the table in a session with me without experiencing any religious attitude and moral superiority from me. I am always and consistently your therapist. I am not in the role of priest or pastor. Nothing ever contradicts my love, respect, listening and understanding of you as my client.your terms.

Christian Counsellor: I am a different kind of Christian. I have shed much of my 'church' doctrine or denominational identity. I identify as Christian because of a deep interest, respect and life commitment to Jesus as the Way, the Truth and the Life but in a non-religious way. I do not look for simple formula answers in the Bible. I study the Bible to know Jesus, his principles and his life.

Sense of Humour: Yes sessions with George do at times involve laughter.
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    George Hartwell M.Sc. Christian Marriage Counsellor, Phone sessions available, fee $120 per hour.

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Psychotherapy is by Zoom, phone or Skype - on-line only.

​Sessions are available across Canada and the USA or wherever they can be arranged.

Links to Pages by George Hartwell M.Sc​
Report of marriage therapy with a narcissist.
​For psychotherapy / therapy for anxiety Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville.
Understanding Psychotherapy for Bipolar Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario.
​Healing Codependent Issues with therapy and self-help.
Christian therapy, psychotherapy for Depression in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
​Therapy/therapist for Nervous Breakdown, Mental Oakville, Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario.
​Deliverance from evil strongholds in Christian Therapy/ counselling Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario
What causes Psychopathy, therapy, psychotherapy Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
Codependency and Christian marriage counselling
Christian therapy, counselling Dealing with Curses, Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville, Ontario.
10 Blocks to Marital Intimacy
Avoidant Personality and Silent Divorce, Christians and Divorce

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Contact George Hartwell:

(416) 939-0544
cell phone

On line sessions only.

Fee is $160 for a 60 minute session.


​
email: ghartwell at rogers.com

Skype name: georgehartwell



Fees paid by e-transfer or PayPal.

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Links to Life Transformation Group:
​George HartwellAnna Wolanczyk Psychotherapy Blog
 Registered Christian Psychotherapist in Mississauga
Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga, Toronto Polish speaking
Anna Wolanczyk registered psychotherapist by Skype, in Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario
George Hartwell registered psychotherapist and Christian counsellor in Mississauga, Toronto by Skype or phone or in person
George Hartwell
ttps://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/george-hartwell.html
https://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/blog/in-depth-psychotherapy
Life Coaching by Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga