Are you Married to a Psychopath or Sociopath?
How would you know if you are married to a psychopath / sociopath?
by George Hartwell M.Sc, registered psychotherapist and Christian counselor (416) 939-0544
Sociopaths are expert at influencing people, ‘con man.’ and so they are good at looking good when needed. That also means they are chameleons. They are shape shifters. They can be different people in different relationships by adapting to that person. You can become deeply enamoured with them in the early days. They are good at wooing you.
This person is always successful in winning people over. Call them 'charismatic'.' They will win you over. Therefore, you will not know they are sociopath until you have known them for a while and fairly intimately. Then the shocks begin. Very suddenly they may change and become much more abusive than you could ever imagine. Their language is hurtful. The commitment to you weak. Their destructive side comes out and you are the target.
At this point you discover they do not take morality seriously. Following the rules is not a worry. Hurting other people is not a big concern. Faithfulness not their focus. Truthfulness not an issue. You begin to ask yourself 'Who it this person I married?'
The psychopath / sociopath learns what is expected of them in society. It is just not integrated into their character. At times they can act appropriately, even charming. What is missing is the underlying feelings to sustain that act.
For example, love, compassion and empathy is missing but the show of the same can be very convincing.
However, as you get to know the sociopath closely, as in a marriage, you find a horrifying emotional immaturity, They hate your weaknesses. They become very cruel verbally and even to attack your reputation by telling lies to others about you .
in describing a sociopath people use the term ‘charming.’ Think of the snake charmer who somehow hypnotizes the snake. The Sociopath is like the charmer who hypnotizes you and then is like the snake who poisons your life and sometimes bites you.
by George Hartwell M.Sc, registered psychotherapist and Christian counselor (416) 939-0544
Sociopaths are expert at influencing people, ‘con man.’ and so they are good at looking good when needed. That also means they are chameleons. They are shape shifters. They can be different people in different relationships by adapting to that person. You can become deeply enamoured with them in the early days. They are good at wooing you.
This person is always successful in winning people over. Call them 'charismatic'.' They will win you over. Therefore, you will not know they are sociopath until you have known them for a while and fairly intimately. Then the shocks begin. Very suddenly they may change and become much more abusive than you could ever imagine. Their language is hurtful. The commitment to you weak. Their destructive side comes out and you are the target.
At this point you discover they do not take morality seriously. Following the rules is not a worry. Hurting other people is not a big concern. Faithfulness not their focus. Truthfulness not an issue. You begin to ask yourself 'Who it this person I married?'
The psychopath / sociopath learns what is expected of them in society. It is just not integrated into their character. At times they can act appropriately, even charming. What is missing is the underlying feelings to sustain that act.
For example, love, compassion and empathy is missing but the show of the same can be very convincing.
However, as you get to know the sociopath closely, as in a marriage, you find a horrifying emotional immaturity, They hate your weaknesses. They become very cruel verbally and even to attack your reputation by telling lies to others about you .
in describing a sociopath people use the term ‘charming.’ Think of the snake charmer who somehow hypnotizes the snake. The Sociopath is like the charmer who hypnotizes you and then is like the snake who poisons your life and sometimes bites you.