Attachment, Connection and Bonding

Attachment, Connection and Bonding
G. Hartwell 2017

Being in relationships with attachment, connection and bonding is as important to our emotional health as food is for our body and money is for our household budget.

Through bonding we grow in emotional health becoming more successful, more effective, more fruitful in our relationships.

When we are in a mature emotional state others feel good about being with us. They are able to trust us and bond. They are able to grow in emotional health as well.

It takes time to trust; time to grow; time before one becomes emotionally and spiritually mature. So patience is needed.

Secure, strongly bonded children are happy and have good self esteem and self confidence. The same is true of adults.
Happy adults and children - those with good self-esteem:
1.   Are more independent under group pressure.

1. Are liked by their peers,
2. Step into leadership of their group easily,
3. Explore freely, learn new things, try new things more easily,
4. Are easier to console, be comforted,
5. Are more open about their emotions.

​Emotional adulthood is about balance between caring about others, expressing ourselves and dealing rationally with the facts. The less mature we are the more we are controlled by our emotions or stay fixed in a particular personality style.

Our bonding style is established so early in life they none of us will remember the events that so effected our life. 1. If mother and father loved us with open hearts. Looked us in the eyes. Connected with us personally, affectionately and playfully when our capacity to love and bond was brought fully to life.

2. If neither parent were available to play, connect, hold and comfort us then our capacity to love, connect and bond is not fully activated. If they did not connect eye to eye, we will have difficulty connecting eye to eye. If they did not hold us with love and comfort us when we needed security we will lack full open trust in others to be there for us.

Life gives us ongoing opportunities to grow in strength in our human spirit. As we choose to express whatever love we are capable of, we can increase the flow of love from God through our spirit. As love flows through us we are nurtured as well by that flow.

The Key to Life - For the measure you use , it will be measured out to you. Luke 6:38
The Key to life then is to grow to greater maturity by participating in this flow of life to the fullest extent possible for you . This participation is outlined by Jesus in Luke 6:27 - 38.

First of all is to love everyone even those who you are offended at. Love your enemies, says Jesus vs. 27.

The specifics of love include: Do good
Bless:

Pray for:

Giving to others:

Forgive (‘and you will be forgiven’ meaning you will stay in the flow of love.)

The result of this participation is outlined by Jesus in Luke 6:38. ’It will be given to you ..running over’

This means that you will stay in the flow of God’s love and blessings. Forgive and you will be forgiven you will stay in the flow of God's love, forgiveness and grace. What you sow, you will reap.

This flow is a secret key to the more regular experience of love, peace and joy instead of anxiety, anger and depression.